Even Charlie Brown Wouldn't Want This Tree!

As you may know, Mike and I were drawn to each other for a number of reasons, but as we find out more and more every day, it was in large part due to our shared sense of frugality. In other words, we are cheap!

I will say, however, that Mike is not only the cheapest person I know, but he also uses statistics and advanced math to calculate even the most insignificant decisions. For example, he has all the local traffic light patterns memorized so he doesn't have to waste time or gas sitting at a red light. If the lights are not in his favor, he will take an alternate route. Of course, listening to his monologue about this traffic light drama is enough to drive a person crazy!


My husband's extreme fragality was particularly evidenced by his selection process of our Christmas tree. The discussion began with a detailed discussion of whether we would be "at home" the required number of days to make a Christmas tree "worth it." I was unaware that you had to physically be in your home a certain number of days staring mindlessly at your tree in order to consider it an appropriate and worthwhile expenditure.

Upon determining that we would be home the required number of days, he proceeded to go to Menard's. For those of you who don't know, Menard's never has been nor will be known for their Christmas trees. We would have been better off going inside the store and buying materials to build a tree!

So Mike spots the "perfect" Christmas tree with the longest needles you've ever seen in your life. Lo and behold, he can't believe his eyes. Why...it's on the "clearance pile!" Mike asks the cashier if there's been some mistake. After all, who wouldn't want such a beauty of a tree? As it turns out, the cashier only stopped short of loading the tree for Mike. That's how happy Menard's was to get rid of our tree! Meanwhile, Mike was BEAMING about his $13 bargain.

Upon arrival at our house, Mike attempted to get the tree into the tree stand. Ironically, it had a little "trunk issue" in the fact that it was a crooked nightmare. Mike asked me to help with measuring, and I politely declined to be part of the entire operation. After a valiant battle, Mike was the winner as the tree made its debut as a stand-alone holiday decoration. As Mike spun the tree, I was waiting to say "STOP" when he got to the "good side." Five rotations later, Mike was still spinning, and we decided to call it a day.

The tree is starting to grow on me as the days go by. The Christmas lights help brighten it up and fill in holes. Most of our ornaments are for short-needle trees, so we have to pick up some of the longer hooks. For right now, the lights are simple and elegant. And best of all, it's our little $13 wonder tree!